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Thursday, September 25, 2008

The Trouble with Old Appetites

The Comfort Zone. What is there not to love about the Comfort Zone? It's safe. It's familiar. It never changes.

Perfect, right?

Not so much. It's also boring, miserable, and lonely. I know. As a bonafide lover of the Comfort Zone, I speak from experience.

Right now, my husband is feeling called by God to move our family back to Nebraska so that he can plant a church. This is a terrifying prospect for introverted, Comfort Zone loving me. Furthering Christ's mission aside, the thought of being ripped from my nice, comfortable, well-insulated, suburban life to be transported into the wild unknown sends me over the edge! I was just talking recently with a friend about how sometimes it seems easier to stay where we are, miserable, than to break free and allow God to work out His purpose for our lives and as a consequence, find happiness. I feel this way often because it's just so scary to step out in faith! My heart knows what to do, but my mind gets in the way! I identify completely with the Israelites who yearned for the familiar because it was familiar - even though they knew that what God had in store for them was going to be so much better than they could possibly imagine. Look at what He had done for them already!

And as I struggle and pray and pray and struggle regarding the future of our family, one thing I know for sure is that I can't have it both ways. I have to make a decision: I can choose to stay in the relative safety of my Comfort Zone, even though that may mean damaging aspects of my marriage (because Todd is a nice husband and would never force me to go anywhere I didn't want to go even if that meant sadly forcing him to suppress a call from God), or I can take the plunge and whole-heartedly choose to trust God completely - no matter where that might lead us.

Because the thing that's even more terrifying to me than stepping out of my Comfort Zone is the thought of becoming cold and complacent in my relationship with the Lord!

9 comments:

Sara said...

oh, meghan, what a beautiful post!... you know, sometimes i think i'm just never satisfied! i will be in one place and long for something else, but when that "something else" comes along, i get scared or sad or whatever!... i DO feel like the israelites SO much!!... as you know, we made a big move (kind of) this past year and we were so excited about it! but the transition of trying to get the house sold and moving and having a new baby and on and on... was SO hard and long... God revealed himself to us in SO many ways throughout, and He even informed me of the need for a long, drawn out transition. but yet, when we finally got moved, i was not satisfied! i was lonely, scared, worn out, a little depressed... it was hard!!!... but again, as this past year has gone by, He has continually been faithful to surround us with his community and to teach us to trust Him more, rely on Him more and to believe that He will take care of us, he will meet us in the desert when he leads us there and He is ever before us as we follow his leading and calling in our lives! it truly amazes me to look back over my life and see His hand in SO many areas... in fact, it makes me feel a little unworthy--why me? why did he choose to lead me, love me, protect me, use me??... i will say this for one thing, as hard as it's been to answer the call of God in my life, there is no greater thing i can imagine doing!! it is truly that rewarding!... it's a wild, unknown, sometimes scary place to be--saying "yes" to the call of God. but nothing will be more freeing or satisfying than doing so!!!! what an amazing and wonderful God we serve, who knows how we work and what we need to experience true freedom, true love... Himself!

Sarah said...

Meghan, can I just say how proud I am of you for this post. I know how introverted you are, so going out of your comfort zone for this post is AMAZING and touching! It actually brought me to tears.

I've never had to follow God's calling by moving my family. Sara is definitely the one to speak about that. But I feel that I've answered his calling by staying home with my children and leaving my job as a nurse. It was a huge leap for my family and I took it knowing that God would provide. Trust me there are times where I'm scared to death - like right now when our economy is so bad. But my loving and amazing husband reminds me everyday that when I get that anxious feeling in the pit of my stomack I pray - and pray that God can give me peace and allow me to turn everything over to him. What I don't understand is why I have to have my husband remind me of that - it should just be a given!

God gave us all our special gifts. I feel that he calls on us to use those gifts to reach out to others. Sometimes his calling is out of our comfort zones, which requires a lot more prayers and support. Meghan I hope you know that you and your family are in our prayers, and you will always have our support and friendship!

I was struck by something that Beth Moore mention in today's study:

"Nothing sounds an alarm in my soul like a naggin feeling of distance or cool-heartedness. I run as fast as I can back to the fire of His Presence. The Holy Spirit never runs dry of lighter fluid for a lifeless soul seeking revival. I have glimpsed enough of what Christ has saved me from and I plead never to get over Him."

Meghan said...

Thank you girls, for your kind words. I'm amazed at how each day so far has seemed to speak directly to something I'm currently struggling a lot with, and I also find it curious that this particular week is my week to facilitate (funny how God works, isn't it?). I was actually very apprehensive about leading when we decided to start this blog - I'm the girl who joins bible studies and then says nothing the whole time - but I've been finding that this week has forced me to *sigh* step out of my comfort zone and in doing so get so much more out of the study than if I were just doing this on my own. And you lucky people get to be there right with me as I work things out!

God gave me a verse a while back when I was struggling through something else, and I still cling to it in situations like now or really any time I'm struggling with issues of moving from my comfort zone:

"For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

I always get goose bumps when I read this. He knows the plans He has for us! That alone spurs me to want to move because I don't want to miss out on those! I want to be a part of whatever future He has for me!

OK...I think I had more to say, but I'm being distracted by a very sad small girl, and it's lunchtime, but I think you get the jist....

Tawnya said...

I'm in the office for a week or so ... so hope you don't get too tired of me & my comments that I might find relevant ... even though I still don't have the book. :-)

Meghan, girl, that was a great post & the word you used that stood out the most regarding Comfort Zone is boring .... I am a bit of an adventure seeker, so I'm generally willing to step outside Comfort Zones and see what excitement is out there ... but that doesn't mean it isn't scary. For example, after 12 years at Graybar, I realized I was so burned out on my "in the office" every day job ... so I took the leep and became an Outside Sales Manager - scary but FUN. The next thing I knew I was in Manhattan in December attending multiple Christmas parties on 5th avenue & overlooking Central Park ... something I would have never experienced with my previous boring position!

My point is when we are faced with the opportunity to leep out of Comfort Zones maybe we could take the focus off of "worry" and change it to "excitement & FAITH" by imagining all the AMAZING things that God could bring our way if we leeped. Meghan, your heart is SO in the right place that the possibilities are endless for you and your family!

Leah said...

Sarah,its not Easy to just Remember all the thing's that We should know on Our own, so We have to be Reminded of those thing's.

Sara said...

i agree with you, sarah! i loved what BM wrote... the one particular line that says, "the holy spirit never runs dry of lighter fluid for a lifeless soul seeking revival." it's SO true, and i think sometimes i forget that or sometimes i don't believe it!.. when we boil God and our relationship with Him down to just going to church or reading our Bible (sometimes) or kind of praying, then of course it's going to be hard to believe that He can and WILL ignite (or re-ignite) a fire within us!! i often feel it's up to me to make stuff happen in my life or to get any excitement out of life... but when i've found myself at the end of my rope (because it seems i usually have to get there before i turn elsewhere to Him), and actually allow Him to take over--i find more passion, forgiveness, mercy, fire and yes, excitement in life!!! i LOVE following the God of the universe!! it's AWESOME!! and i'm SO thankful to be on this journey with you all!!... thanks everyone for sharing--this is wonderful!!!

Unknown said...

Right now, I'm out of my comfort zone -- in America!!! We've lived the last two years in India and I made it my home. Everything seems to be different here, in only 2 yrs. The styles, the prices, the whole feel of life is foreign to me and yet this is my culture. I guess in India, I expected things to feel foreign, here I'm surprised. I know this is where God wants us for this season, but I'm longing to be back. I do identify with sara. I often long for what I don't have at the moment. In India, I longed for stuff in America (specifically easy to cook food). Now, I long for food in India because it was so inexpensive. AGH! I'm waiting to look back over this time and see God's hand and rejoice. Right now I just feel out of place, but all your comments are strengthening to me!

Sara said...

danielle, i'm so glad you're joining us in this study! your perspective will be good for all of us to hear!! isn't it crazy how our minds and hearts work??... i mean, i think that saying about the grass always being greener on the other side is somewhat true, you know??... it's hard to be satisfied. mostly because we're always looking in the wrong places! we think our circumstances, surroundings, whatever will satisfy, when they only make us hunger more! it is God who can only truly satisfy the deep hunger and thirst within us!... i am confident we all know this, but i know i, for one, lose sight of it sometimes! God is well aware of that, and i think that's why He draws us out of our comfort zones! to realize again our need for Him! thanks for all the encouragement, ladies!

Maeve said...

I'm a little late in posting on this one - but I loved reading what you had to say. The struggle with feeling at home while we are on earth will probably be one that we always experience - because ultimately we are meant to go home to heaven. Even as I am writing this it gives me comfort in how difficult it can be to move away from a place that I called home for such a long time. I feel so incredibly blessed right now - even though I'm frequently trying to dream up ways to get back to St. Peters. I know that God has plans that require me to look forward, not back on what I used to have. Megan - I know that your family will be led at the exact right time. God may use the feelings of discomfort to guide you closer to Him, but you will certainly know His plans.